Milestones & More - June 2024
This month we chat about ceremony on screen.
If you’ve watched Survivor, you’ve probably seen the Rites of Passage ceremony.
During this ceremony, the remaining players collect totems with the names of their lost tribe members.
When they arrive at a totem, they read the name and spend time reminiscing about the person. By the end of the walk, they’ve collected all of the participants’ names. Then they place the totems on a pyre and burn them.
The recollections for each totem are very similar to the tributes folks pay at funeral services. Those speaking hold the memory of the lost contestants with honesty and dignity. They are not hyperbolic in singing their praises nor are they insulting or hurtful.
The burning of the totems draws directly from funeral imagery evoking the cremation of the fallen players. This provides finality to the ceremony and is a unifying experience for those who have survived to that point in the game.
How does this track to planning my funeral?
Plan an outdoor walk!
Perhaps it would be meaningful to plan a walk wherein family and friends gather totems which represent the major milestones of your life. This could be done in a contained space like a garden. Each stop could present an opportunity for participants to reflect on the impact you had on them at different points of your life.
Have a bonfire!
Would you like to have a fire that folks can gather around? I’ve always envisioned a bonfire for my own memorial. If you want to include fire in your memorial, you will need to be aware of the restrictions of your venue.
Many standard funeral chapels would not allow this. This is an example of using discernment when selecting your vendor team to ensure you’ll have the support necessary to create the event you envision.
Although Rites of Passage is not a funeral service - it can serve as inspiration for those of us who are planning our own memorial service!
Survivor is a game of bravado and trickery, but the Rites of Passage is a tender moment of vulnerability. It shows the duality that those celebrating are lucky to have the chance to continue competing while also acknowledging the disappointment and sadness of those who have been eliminated.
Let me know if you’d like to discuss how values-driven memorial planning might look for you and your family.
Thanks for being the biggest part of everything I'm doing here.
Charlotte